Is this thing still on?
seasons will change us
It always goes deeper
The Crossroads, Tonight
Against All Odds
5/14/10 10:05:05
The odds were astronomical.
I mean, not to be all dramatic and stuff ... but the odds against this having unfolded the way it has for me, are simply staggering. Mind-blowingly so.
As best science can tell, as of today, I no longer have cancer. They detected it very, very early, cut the whole sucker out, and as of now there is no trace of it left in my body at all.
Elapsed time between detection and correction: more or less 6 weeks. No joke.
It ain't been no cakewalk in the teapark, for sure. I've had some seriously heinous experiences over the past few weeks, and more than one night where I seriously wondered if I'd live to see the dawn.
But all that is just nothing compared to what it could have been.
A quick glance around the waiting room as I left Vanderbilt with my good news today, put it into almost too sharp a perspective.
The phrase "there but by the grace of God go I" doesn't even come close. There I was, weaving my way towards the door, amongst a vast array of almost every kind of human suffering imaginable, bearing childlike gleefulness.
"Today, I got my second chance"
I guess, technically, the label "cancer survivor" applies to me now, but I'm not at all comfortable with it. Compared to what so many go through, I've had a mere flesh wound. The bullet skimmed the surface and gave me a good scare.
I'm not sure how I should respond to this. Should I double down my musical efforts and try to create some art that expresses how I feel about this? Give some money to the Cancer Society, or Vanderbilt, or some other research organization? Should I just count my blessings and keep buggering on as if it never happened?
I dunno.
But I do know that tonight ... good God ... tonight I'm thankful, and relieved, and gleeful to have my second chance. And I sincerely hope everyone in that waiting room today will have theirs as well (though I know damn well that won't be the case).